A Heart Divided

Teach me Your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name.

(Psalm 86:11 NIV

I’m a woman of faith and usually one with a calm demeanor. Why, then, did I lose composure and yell at an official about his call at a children’s basketball game?

Filled with regret, I spent the rest of the game shaming myself. I’m a Christian, for heaven’s sake. I should set a better example.

As soon as I could escape to a quiet space, I gave my shame and embarrassment to God. I confessed my sin, asked for forgiveness, and vowed to never lose control like that again.

How God must have laughed.

Next game. I prayed before I left home: “Dear Lord, you won’t have any trouble out of me tonight. I’m in complete control,” I promised.

I strolled into the gym determined to enjoy the game and confident that I would not get upset.

Then the official called a third “foul” on my eight-year-old grandson in the first quarter! It clearly was not a foul. Anger flooded my heart, and I called the ref a name under my breath. Double-shame this time because I’d reneged on my promise. To God.

I obviously was not in control, and the Holy Spirit convicted me of my mistake immediately. My prayer before the game was full of myself. I didn’t ask God for His help or even invite Him along to the game.

I leaned into my power instead of depending on God’s.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

(Proverbs 3:5 NIV)

The Apostle Paul accomplished much in His ministry and withstood many trials. His words below speak of the confidence he had, not in himself, but in God’s power.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

(Philippians 4:13 NASB)

A Heart Divided

God desires our wholehearted devotion, without the distractions of divided loyalties. Putting too much faith in myself, as I’m prone to do, leads to a divided heart.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

(Deuteronomy 6:5 NIV)

Through a children’s basketball game, God showed me I needed to shrug off the blanket of self-sufficiency I wrapped myself in and fully rely on Him. We can’t resist sin on our own.

Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

(Ephesians 6:10-11 NIV)

Wholehearted devotion means inviting God into every area of our lives: our work and play; our highs and lows; our joy and disappointments; our success and failures; our riches and our lack. Let’s not allow a personal area of strength or expertise divide our faithfulness.