When Have You Last Denied Yourself?

My pastor posed a thought-provoking question: “Ask yourself this,” he said. “What have I done lately that I didn’t want to do, but I did it anyway because Jesus is Lord?”

We were starting a sermon series about discipleship and what following Jesus entails. Based on Matthew 16:21-26, the first step is to deny ourself and take up our cross.

Jesus told his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

(Matthew 16:24 NRSB)

Deny Yourself

When have you last denied yourself?

Hmmm. I wasn’t sure I had an answer to his question. My mind leapt back to the time my daughter traveled with Campus Crusades to Swaziland. During an orientation before leaving the country, participants literally picked up a heavy wooden cross and carried it around campus.

Over the past two years, this daughter had endured three back surgeries, two of them to repair a cerebral spinal fluid leak. Her life was finally returning to normal, and she was ready to take up her cross for Jesus. But she was not yet without pain.

The concrete demonstration of taking up the cross proved challenging for her, and she questioned her decision to go. She denied herself and went anyway.

But me? What had I denied myself lately?

Lunch and Play

Then I had an answer, although it wasn’t much. My church serves children (and through the children, their parents) at a housing project by taking Jesus to them through Vacation Bible School, Easter Egg Hunts, and other activities throughout the year.

I helped with a Lunch and Play just last week, which is where volunteers show up to interact with the kids and help serve them lunch. I willingly signed up to help. But then Monday morning rolled around. Of all mornings, why did I choose Monday, I wondered. Was I up for this? Working with children appeals to me. I spent the majority of my life up close and personal with them in the classroom. Yet, that was years ago.

Could I still relate to them? The world has changed a lot. I have changed a lot. In this, the third act of my life, I sometimes wonder if I’m still relevant. Do I have anything left to give?

As these concerns floated into my head, the pull to stay in my jammies and write the morning away tempted. We are, at heart, a selfish people. And satan strikes when we are most susceptible.

But I had committed, so off I go. Within minutes at the site, I was delightfully engaged with a small group of kids playing Chutes and Ladders. What fun! Kids haven’t changed that much. We laughed and played and teased. I got to know each a little better: Violia, Ruby, Mario, and Chen.

I sat with them while they consumed hot dogs, Sun Chips, and oranges. I peeled their fruit and opened milk cartons. They asked me to guess their names. They shared tidbits about their lives. They were a joyful group as they interacted with each other and with me.

At the end, our missions minister thanked me for helping.

“No, thank you!” I said.

Jesus Ministered to Me

I left on a high note, filled with gratitude. I got much more out of the experience than I gave. God nudged me to do this and I thanked Him. He ministered to me by calling me back to His children.

A small example of denying myself, for sure. Not very much at all on the whole scale of things. But for me, it was something. I’m on the lookout for other ways to “deny myself” and take up the cross. We don’t have to travel thousands of miles to do that, or even leave home.

Third-Actors Unite!

You, too, may be in the third act of life. Don’t give in to thinking your life’s purpose is in the rear-view mirror. As long as God has you here, follow His call. The way you serve may be different, but no less important. Don’t minimize what you do, whether it’s with your grandkids, comforting a friend, cooking a meal, or sharing a little time with the most vulnerable among us.

Let’s not allow the misguided attitudes of others about aging—the patronizing doctor, a 30-something facialist, or the “now” generation—prevent us from taking up the cross each time Jesus calls.

When we deny ourself, we are filled.

When have you last denied yourself to take up the cross of Jesus? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

One last thing to leave with you. In Aging Faithfully, Alice Fryling writes:

Some of the leaves on my tree have died

but the sap is still running, the tree is still fruitful,

and I am grateful.

Photo Credit: JeffJacobs1990 @Pixabay

When we deny ourself, we are filled. #followJesus Share on X

Photo Credit: First Baptist Dalton