The Pain of Waiting: Finding Hope in the Silence

Have you experienced a season when you felt stuck in a waiting room? The endless wait for a medical diagnosis after batteries of tests revealed no health issues. The dismal wait for God to take a beloved family member home. The wait for job offers after hours of positive interviews yielded no immediate results.

My family experienced all three situations during this winter.

In December, I spent hours in waiting rooms. At the hospital. In various medical facilities. None of the specialists could answer why my healthy thirty-nine-year-old son woke up one morning with a racing heart along with near fainting, dizziness, and nausea.

During that period of waiting, and shortly before Christmas, I learned it was time to let my sister go. She, along with her daughters and husband, had bravely battled her Alzheimer’s disease and worked endlessly to provide her as good a quality of life as possible. But now, Hospice had received notification. It was time to say goodbye.

Thus began another type of waiting room. My family went through the motions of Christmas, but I resided in the metaphorical waiting room of my head, expecting the call any minute. “Take her, God! She’s ready and we’re ready.” The call finally came, nine long days later.

To add to these circumstances, a close family member had his life disrupted, suddenly thrust into uncharted waters, opening another painful avenue of waiting.

Time has taught me I can trust God when life goes off track. I firmly believe I’m called to wait patiently on Him. But I admit, it grew hard to find hope during this season of silence.

Why wasn’t God answering prayers? I expected Him to. I knew He would, but why was He taking so long? One question led to another. Why did my sister get that terrible disease? Why couldn’t the doctors pinpoint my son’s problem? When was a job going to come through? Frustration overrode hope.

My heart grew heavy. My spirits sagged. Afraid to lower my emotional guard for fear I’d fall apart, my body tightened with tension. Headaches soon followed.

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you;

(Psalm 55:22 NIV)

A nudge from the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to a sad truth. I wasn’t following what I encouraged my readers to do: Cast all your burdens on God. Trust Him. Wait on Him. Don’t be anxious about anything.  A rueful laugh escaped me. Ha! Easier said than done.

It was time to surrender everything to my Sustainer. To accept His timetable, rather than try to hurry Him along. To understand the circumstances were outside of my control. To realize I hadn’t fully cast my cares on the Lord, for there I was behind the scenes—His worker bee—buzzing around trying to assist.

No matter what I did, I could not alter God’s will.

Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.

(Psalm 19:21 NIV)

I called a minister friend and unloaded my worries, along with a bucketful of tears. She listened and promised prayers. Instantly, my load lightened, and I turned to God and said, “Thy will, God. Not mine.” I gave it all to Him.

I asked forgiveness for my disobedience. Waiting on hope to return before I acted in faith is not what God asks of me. Scripture tells us hope follows obedience.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

(Hebrews 11:1 NIV)

Hope is an act of trust. We can keep putting one foot in front of the other in obedience when fear paralyzes us because of God's sustaining power. Faith moves first. Hope follows.

A CT pulmonary angiography finally detected a small embolism on my son’s lung, treatable with a blood thinner. Tests showed no clotting disorders or other explanations for the cause. Thankfully, he has resumed normal activities.

We don’t have medical answers for the wacky heart rate. A vascular surgeon told us the two are not related. But I have an explanation.

I believe God arranged these circumstances to bring my son to the hospital so the clot would be discovered, probably saving his life. And God had another purpose. The health scare brought my son closer to God and awakened him to the truth that the Lord is his Sustainer. (Hebrews 1:3). To sustain means to impart protection, strength, encouragement, and comfort. God furnished these provisions for him.

And for his mom.

While I'm Waiting: Enjoy the lyrics in this inspiring song about waiting on God by John Waller.

Giveaway

New book release Strengthen your Spiritual Core

Hello, readers! I'm happy to be back writing after a brief break. And we have a new book giveaway: Strengthen Your Spiritual Core released in April. It contains thirty great stories of encouragement, insight, and strategies to strengthen your spiritual core. I'm honored to have two pieces in the book compiled and edited by the amazing Beebe Kauffman of Lighthouse Bible Studies.

To enter the contest, reply by sending me an email: Candyce@CandyceCarden.com or by dropping a word in the comments section below (scroll down). Let me know about your waiting room season, offer a word of encouragement, ask a question, or request a prayer.

And look for exciting news about my book's progress in an upcoming newsletter.

Immersed in His Love,

Candyce